Are you a good judge of character?
You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things.
Now we know that God’s judgment against those who do such things is based on truth.
Romans 2:1,2
Judging others becomes sinful behavior when we judge with pride, comparison, or to belittle another. Judgment like this can harden our hearts, increase arrogance, and can hurt those that we judge. “Do not speak evil against one another, brothers.
Theorizing about the good judge posits that a good judge should be knowledgeable about how personality relates to behavior, have high levels of cognitive ability and general intelligence, and be motivated to be accurate, among other characteristics (Funder, 1995; 1999).
Judge not unrighteously, that ye be not judged; but judge righteous judgment
Matthew 7:2
There are several factors that can contribute to someone being a bad judge of character. These may include personal biases, lack of experience or exposure to different types of people, emotional attachment or investment in a certain outcome, and limited information about the individual in question.
And we pray for guidance and knowledge:
Father, I pray for discernment to choose my friends wisely. Give me eyes to see friends who will walk with me through the good and difficult seasons of life. LORD, Put my name on the mind of the right people.
The basis for Christianity is love God and love your neighbour as yourself. Jesus actually put it that these were equivalent to the first and second commandments. Jesus also told the story of the good Samaritan. Samaritans were very much outsiders as far as Jewish people were concerned. The story demonstrated that outsiders can be good people and should be respected for things like their compassion.
I think these ideas give a basis for partly answering the question. Jesus does not discriminate against outsiders. I use this term to include unsaved friends though I personally would never think of such people as outsiders. I think of any person in the world as my neighbour.
When it comes to choosing friends, the key purpose of friends is so we can meet mutual needs for belonging, for giving and getting support, for sharing intersests, ideas and values about how we interact with other people.
In choosing your friends wisely you choose people who can meet your friendship needs and give back in the same way. Clearly other people do not need to share our religious beliefs to provide friendship. Anyway our religious beliefs are personal. Theirs are to a large extent their own business, unless they want to share their thinking.
The choosing wisely bit is also about choosing people for friends who will not provide a bad influence, people likely to do and think things that fall outside what you see as good ways of relating to other people and looking after your own needs – sometimes called loving yourself.
You will find people in your Christian community whose friendship might be bad for you. Being saved is not a good criterion for choosing such friends.
Choose good people as your friends. Being saved does not mean a person is good. After all we are all sinners.